If you find that getting out of bed in the morning is requiring a similar amount of determination as climbing Mount Everest - you're in the right place. I too, have these days, and since I'm a mental health therapist responsible for holding peaceful space for my clients, I've learned some tools that make those uphill days a bit more manageable.
The best part? It's all free! No fancy gadgets, no need for a degree in neuroscience, and you can use these tips anywhere, anytime.
Consider this your go-to, first aid, mental health wellness toolkit for days when you know you need to, but really don't want to, and you're not sure you could, even if you tried.
I got you.
Therapist Tid-Bit:
Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between an actual life-threatening issue or the stress you might be feeling due to an upcoming deadline; it just knows that you're not feeling safe or at ease. Sometimes we need to override our nervous system's smoke detector and let it know that there's not really a fire. (Kind of like we just burned the pork chops... again. No, we don't need a fire truck. Yes, please turn off the blaring alarm so that we can focus and not burn the other pork chop.)
Some of us have more sensitive "smoke detectors", either because we're a highly sensitive person, or maybe because we have some unprocessed trauma that resurfaces in the form of triggers and hypervigilance. Either way, if you are indeed safe, you need to be able to communicate to your nervous system, "false alarm!!" so that you aren't trapped in a chronic stress response.
Here's how we can start to turn off the alarms:
MOVE YOUR EYES
When you're stressed, you begin to see the world through tunnel vision. You can only see the thing right in front of you because your nervous system is hypervigilant, ready to identify any immediate threats to your survival. Even your ability to plan and think ahead becomes a challenge once you've entered the tunnel vision phase of stress. When we are overwhelmed, the fewer things we need to attend to, the better.
The muscles in your eyes are attached to your nervous system and your brain. When those muscles become tight, your body is communicating to your brain that you do not have the capacity to see beyond this overwhelming moment. Here is how you use your body to communicate to your brain that you're okay, you do have the capacity to see the big picture, and by doing so you give your nervous system the command to turn off some of the alarms that are contributing to the experience of anxiety and panic in your body.
Open your eyes wide. Look all the way left and hold here for a moment, blinking as needed. shift your gaze back to the center, closing or relaxing your eyes for a moment. Open your eyes wide again and look as far to the right as possible, holding here for a moment. Once you come back to center again, rotate your eyes in a clockwise direction a few times before changing directions. Basically, roll your eyes like an exasperated teenager. Be very dramatic.
Go outside, or at least to a window, and allow your vision to search as far in any direction as you choose. Notice what you see - colors, shapes, movement, and anything else you might become aware of as you expand your vision.
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION
We hold an incredible amount of tension in our body as a result of unprocessed stress and trauma. Our body is literally braced against life as a way to shield us from any further attacks (physical and emotional). Overtime, we stop noticing the heaviness, the tightness, or the muscle tension. We might have headaches, backaches, or other manifestations of this chronic bracing, which we often treat with some kind of anti-inflammatory medication, heat, or other external source of relief.
Progressive Muscle relaxation will exaggerate the tension that your body might already be holding, and then allow you to experience the release. This can inform you where you tend to hold tension, as well as help that part of your body begin to relax.
Starting at your feet, isolate and tighten each muscle group, bracing as much as you possibly can. Hold for 30 seconds to a minute, building heat - your muscles might even begin to tremor. Keep breathing. When you're ready for the release, tighten even more, big breath in, and then sigh the breath out of an open mouth. As you slowly but completely release your breath, you're also releasing that muscle group. Let the muscles fall off the bone, tender as grandma's pot roast. Take a moment to notice how it feels.
Here is the progression of body parts I usually follow tensing and releasing one group at a time
feet, thighs, glutes/hips, stomach/back, shoulders (see how high you can get those bad boys), arms, hands, and then my favorite - your face. How does one tense the muscles in their face? Imagine a screaming baby. Look like that.
Take a few minutes after completing the exercise to bask in the relaxed posture of your body. You can do this exercise laying down or sitting.
Pro tip: go to therapy so that you can resolve the underlying stressor and give your body some evidence (by learning to regulate your nervous system) that it doesn't need to brace so hard against life.
EAT A SNACK AND DANCE
You think I'm joking? I'm as serious as a back ally dance-off, which I've never experienced, but I'm certain it's a pretty serious vibe.
If you can sway your body, swing your arms to a steady rhythm, or go full dance party mode, you are engaging a part of your brain that is stress-resistant. Put on some good jams and just move. Allow your body to move any way that it wants - maybe slow, maybe fast, maybe graceful, maybe thrashing about. No judgment here.
Let the good times roll and let the serotonin flow.
And snacks - don't come to my office and tell me that you're anxious and stressed when you skipped a meal. Get your blood sugar in check, and then let's see if you have unprocessed trauma or if you were just hangry.
Pro tip: Snack on real food - fruits, veggies, proteins (something that had the capacity to grow, something with a life force), and stay away from highly processed, sugar-filled things created in a lab like a science project. You are not a lab rat.
Seems too simple to be effective, doesn't it? Try it and see for yourself!
You have everything you need within you to get out of a funk, to reconnect with life, and to reclaim a sense of peace.
Expand your vision, release your muscles, get your dance on, and eat a snack.
You got this.
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